With your Tour Guide,
~ Darla Beasley
It’s
not easy living in the redheaded step-city to Terre Haute. Oh, we tried to
secede from Terre Haute on several occasions, the most memorable being an
attempt to return to our original town name, which was Macksville. For a reason that your tour guide
cannot recall—perhaps it was the more exotic sound of the French words, Terre
Haute--the movement back to Macksville sputtered out somehow, and we
contented ourselves with remaining your mysterious annex to the West.
Rumors
about West T. abound. That it is
populated by ne’er do wells who would sooner slap you than say hello, that we
keep rats as pets and offer road kill as the dish du jour. As a rural West
Terre Hautean, I can only speak for myself, but I assure you that I am not a
slap-happy person, I do not own a rat, and have never served up a dish of
Possum de la Chevrolet, heavy on the diesel sauce.
What
I can relate to you are some of the highlights of actually having “West Terre
Haute” on your mailbox. So, follow
me, over the river and through the woods, where we will learn more about the
thriving metropolis and its populace.
Fact: West Terre Haute is the
proud sponsor of National Avenue, which in cruder times was called the National
Road. This is one path that we can all travel home upon, since it was one of
pavements that helped to tame the unruly Midwest.
Fact: When traveling down National
Avenue, be sure to stop in at Bedino’s Funeral Parlor, to see the gigantic
goldfish that swim in the bedrock fountain in the lobby. Granted, it is not
your typical tourist site, but I’m telling you, these fish are as “big as yer
head.”
Fact: Passage to and from the two
Hautes was not always a generous affair. When the new covered bridge opened
between Macksville and Terre Haute in January 1865, it was used as a toll
bridge, with various fees for crossing the bridge, some of which are listed
below:
Cows
more than 3 years old - 8 cents per head
Cows
under 3 years old - 5 cents for per head
Stage
coaches or fancy carriages - 60 cents
Mule
or ox pulled wagons - 50 cents
This
perhaps explains how West T. “river rats” got their nickname—when faced with
the fees, they simply chose to swim across the Wabash to get to the other side.
Fact: West Terre Haute once housed
a mushroom factory, known as the Indiana Mushroom Factory. What the name lacks
in originality, it made up for in mushrooms, which were processed and
distributed under the label “Dawn Fresh.”
The smokestack from the factory is still in existence and can be seen
when driving through Toadhop, one of West T.’s most infamous suburbs.
At
any rate, you know those mushrooms had to be good—growing them is not an easy
chore, nor is it easy to locate them in the wild. West Terre Hauteans take
their mushroom collecting very seriously and have elevated the hunting of the
wild ‘shroom into an art form.
Fact: During the Great Flood of
1913, (which came on the heels of the Tornado of 1913) West Terre Haute was almost
completely submerged by the flood tide. The saloons owned by George Albrecht
and William Anderson were the last buildings to be evacuated, an exit which
illustrates the plucky attitude of most river rats—if the water was getting
high, then by God, so were we.
Fact: Contrary to popular opinion,
West T. is keeping up with the changing times. First, there was the Dairy Queen, which burned to the
ground several summers ago, much to our dismay, God rest her soul. Then there
was the Dairy Castle, a sort of homage to the Dairy Queen. When the Castle closed, we were
momentarily panicked—where in the world could we go for a cheeseburger? All the
way to Terre Haute? Rest assured,
we now have a Burger King, a sort of patriarchal fast food reversal. So
royalty does exist in West T. And we have a Subway too, which might be
as near as we get to a mass transportation system.
Fact: Whether you like it or not, West Terre Haute was the home of the Bayh
family for years. Birch and Evan Bayh went on to Washington D.C. to make us all
proud. Or not so proud, depending on your political inclinations.
Fact: West Terre Haute is home to
Saint Mary of the Woods College, one of the most distinguished women’s colleges
in the country. The campus is a
must for any sensible sightseeing West T. tourist, since it offers beautiful
architecture and statuary, as well as the charm of the Shell Chapel, which was
constructed entirely out of shells, collected by novices of the Sisters of
Providence. This notion also illustrates the pluck of West T. residents—our
nuns are so dedicated that they willingly dove into the Wabash river to
collect the shells for the chapel.
And
the list of intrigues just goes on and on, but I’m sure you get the
picture. So stop by soon, we swear
we don’t charge road tax, (except during Leap Year and Buttered Toast Day. Some
restrictions apply, please see tourism bureau for further details.)
We’ll be sure to leave a
light on for youJ)